You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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