I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize