I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
