Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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