im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
