my phone needs a breathalizer
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
