after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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