so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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