Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize