Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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