This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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