make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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