community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
