...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've blown a few things in my day
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
