chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
