I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
