So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
