I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
