Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
