Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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