I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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