So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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