All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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