as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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