Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
