Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
