Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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