you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
