wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
