I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
