yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
