This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
