I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
