Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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