When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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