I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shame - the story of my life.
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