Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
