jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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