even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
