Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
