Don't you send me to vm
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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