At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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