just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize