I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
