I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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