Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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