Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
