You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
