piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize