I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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