Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fill condoms, not promises.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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