The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
