You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
