I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
