why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
