don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
