is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
