summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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