shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
