yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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