Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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