Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
