i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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