HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize