Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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