Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm eating all of the evidence.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
tell me about the fingering
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
