mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
