apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
