hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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