I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize