oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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