So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
