3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
