You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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